thanksgiving in the tropics

the stigmata i got from my surfboard is good.

and the stitches make me look tough.

surfed this afternoon.

done with the longboard.

getting frisky.

not eating turkey.

they don't celebrate turkey here.

...and there's the vegan thing.

beans and rice!

plantains!

surfing!

beat that, america.

also, a wingless dragon

yeah, i got one of those.

he lives in my yard.

i discovered him today.

now i need a nap.

irony in the tropics

been snowboarding twelve years and i've beat the shit out of myself - knee reconstruction, broken ribs, twice torn cartilege in my ribcage, 3 concussions, and a hundred other minor injuries forgotten due to the concussions. i'll never forget my best concussion

trying to leave all this behind and teaching myself to surf. it's going very well. i'm good at it.

anyway, at playa hermosa this morning around 845 the curls were plentiful and heavy. i got some waves. one got me. threw me down on top of my board.

now i have stitches in my side.

i never got stitches from snowboarding.

two in a row, arms like jelly, brain like ocean

those are two similes in a row.

that's what's in a row and there they are.

all is still well.

rode hard and put up wet

no need to envy. i just need to learn spanish and surfing and stuff and i'm getting old, you know.

one and a half days here and already sunburned and my arms are totally giving out. this surfing shit is hard. first day ever (bought a board last night - a long one) and i got up on my second wave! fucking head-high wave too. then i was like, 'well, that was an accident, because i suck.' So I thought I was a killer and then I ate giant shit on my next try and went in for lunch. pretty much collapsed from exhaustion the rest of the day and drove over to a pussy-type mellow beach break in a bay. Knee high, but I got my mechanics better, turned a bit, and think after one or two more wimp days I’ll cruise back over to the big dogs, then next week I ditch the 9’1” for a shortboard and shred like the champion I was always destined to be.

i've been so fucking lazy. so out of shape.

as long as my body gets stronger fast, i'll be going to the shortboard in ten days.

oh my silly dreams. so full of myself. just because i learned to snowboard in a day...

you have to admit though, that second wave...

and i had good crashes - getting up to my feet long enough to go right over the handlebars, stuff like that.

visited marlon this afternoon (he hooked me up with piko last night, who i bought my surfboard from and is aboout as awesome as marlon). he and i have some work to do with the car and getting my phone on track. those are, i think, my only responsibilities outside of maintaining the house (which actually isn't a total walk in the park with all this rain. or it's like a walk in the park on a day with all this rain, i guess.). i also need to get my spanish on a little harder, keep surfing, avoid sunburn, maybe make a friend or two, and write words for money-in-the-future.

a tall order, but i am the man for this job.

also, for the shittiest beach town in costa rica, it's pretty fucking sweet here. and the people are super friendly and patient with my spanish and all that good stuff. and, all i eat is beans.

adventure stories will follow. for now, just know that it's all ok down here, and if we're going to have a child together, we may come down here for the birthing, for the citizenship, because why not?

day one

10:15am wednesday 15 November 2006



i’m sitting in the cafe, called The Moon Glow, here at the adventure inn. marlon just called and is going to be a little late in picking me up. that is no problem. there are no problems here at all, except maybe those weird fuckers at the servicia de cambio who said my signature didn’t look like my signature. what was that all about? now i have to try to fake sign that check for someone else. why did i get traveler’s checks anyway? retard.

last night in bed i did start to get worried about some things. i was like, ‘whoa! i have to get a car and a surfboard before i can do anything! and i have to get my costa rican phone working! fuck! so much to do!’ and then i realized that this was very little to do and that i’m on fucking vacation and tomorrow i’ll be surfing my novice brains out.

solamente puedo hablar el espanol.

latin. america.

1147pm tuesday 14 November 2006



alright, i’m at the adeventure inn, and the adventure... let me tell you about the adventure to this point:

got a traveler’s check rejected at the currency exchange place.

told them to fuck themselves.

met the most rad taxi dude ever. this was two hours ago. he’s still the only person i’ve talked to and he’s got me totally convinced that i can speak spanish already. i mean, like a retard, but still... he understood me!!!

the internet worked here for a second, but not anymore.

there’s a bidet in the bathroom, and i love that shit. seriously. no pun. just cleaner. or, mas limpio. no es sucio.

see that, fuckers? at least as good as a retard.

talked to marlon. he’s on it. i did wake him up. and i feel bad about that, but we’ll be friends and i’ll take care of the guilt through my kindness and stuff.

i do have the ridiculous urge to go out and explore san jose, but that’s just gonna have to wait, kiddies. i’m thinking the night before rosen and harman hit town i’ll do a little scout, and then it’s on.

of course, there are reminders of michelle everywhere. doesn’t help that the last (and really only) time i’ve done any world traveling was with her, but i see her everywhere. the place i’m in tonight is just like the place in chiang mai. then there’s how it’s kinda just like her first night in bangkok when i tried to make things fun and full of learning and she was all about sleeping, except tonight i’m trying to make things fun and adventurous and I’M all about sleeping... and, no joke, the featured cocktail on the plane was a DIRTY MARTINI.

i drank 'em.

plus, i’ve got this hippy backpack...

whatever. i love that girl and i wish she was here. i guess i’ll have to settle for marlon. and divina on the red motorcycle. and antonio my taxi driver. poor excuses for a michelle though. all of them. individually and combined (and the whole thing is actually a revolting thought so i’m through with writing. buenas noches.).

EXPERIENCE REVIEW 2:delta's business elite international lounge, ATL

gold sign beats silver: +1

longer walk than to crown club room: -1

beers on tap tapped out: -1

disco-strobe silent fire alarm: +a million

unless this means i'm gonna die, then it would be -a million.

total: -1

pretty good.

i mean everybody's dancing. still can't put out those flames.

EXPERIENCE REVIEW 1:delta's crown club room, LAX

just like the old days, i'm gonna complain for fun and make sure we all know why spending extra money pretty much just gives you more reasons to be disappointed...

putting green +5
and putters +1
and balls +1

bloodies +2.5

bathroom hike -4

pay internet -3

no fresh fruit -2

della reese +0.5

TOTAL:
+1

possibly the best score ever. for anything.

my second bloody mary

it is far more horseradishy.

and i like that.

oh yeah...

by the way, i'm in the business lounge.

it does not meet european standards.

why?

i'll tell you when i update from the international business lounge in atlanta.

for now though, suffice it to say, 'no fresh fruit.'

envy away in all your sinfulness, you disgusting heathen.

bloody mary morning

first time since may that i can write the word bloody and know that it's entirely possible that i'll never see the bloodied body of a murder victim ever again.

it's 650am in LA and my man marlon in costa rica has been surfing for three hours already. i'm sitting in the airport. but tomorrow, costa rica.

last night i went out for a few drinks and had to hold myself back from offering up my bastardized version of spanish to any brown-looking person i came across. i'm so fucking ready for this.

my bloody mary is delicious.

my psychological make-up is pretty tasty too, this morning. i mean, honestly, why not? seven weeks in the tropical heavens are banging down my door - and not like a home-invasion that ends in a shooting either.

and so there's big snow in colorado today, my love is in virginia, and i am at LAX, headed to costa rica until 2007. mixed bag, i guess. but i do have shred passes bought and paid for (do people really say that) and waiting to be utilized. and i have a love. not bad for an unreasonably lazy douchebag like myself.

and now, the to-do list:

learn the surfing
learn the spanish
write the writings
stop the smoking

that just about does it, and if i do, then so do i.

about two more months and then another two

i'm well out of kc and now three days away from seven weeks in costa rica.

i'm gonna learn how to surf and speak spanish and commune with monkeys and other vitally important shit.

and i'm going to enjoy it all while i can, because i feel like i might end up behaving like a responsible adult sometime pretty soon.

send me hate-mail, you sinners.